Valentine's day has the ultimate pre-determined playbook: If you love someone,—and it's February 14, of course—you buy them a gift. So many love-sick cravens choose the cliche perfume or roses as their sign of devotion. Well, not these 7, babe! Explore 7 of the all-time worst Valentine's Day gifts and our expertly-picked alternatives that will ensure you steer clear of romantic disaster.
1: Lipstick (filled with Lead)
In a recent study, the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics found "lead in 61% of the 33 lipsticks tested, with levels ranging from 0.03 ppm to 0.65 ppm." Need a translation? While medical authorities say there's no safe level of lead in the blood, the FDA doesn't currently view it as a safety concern.
Considering the FDA spent the past 3 decades trying to scare the tar out of us on the dangers of lead-based paint, we're a bit skeptical . . . Dangerous makeup has to be one of the worst Valentine's Day gifts!
Chuck the lead-ladened lip color and try an organic lip balm instead. Her lips will totally thank you!
2: (TOXIC) Bath Bombs
You just adore your sweetie and want her to enjoy a long relaxing soak ... in toxins. . .
No, really. That bedazzled rainbow sparkle pop of a bath bomb is just brimming with junk. Sure, some mainstream shops say it's a "safe synthetic" ingredient, but that's all spin, babe. There's nothing "safe" about synthetic dyes, fragrances, and polluting glitter.
We've already done an in-depth post about this, so we won't belabor the point. Take our word for it (or the scientific community's word, for that matter): these babies are a definite NO for Valentine's day. That's why we're putting these bad boys as number 2 on our list of worst Valentine's Day gifts.
Toss the toxic-ingredient-filled bath bombs and choose an organic, all-natural, and totally safe bath bomb instead.
3: A Pack of Cigarettes
"My girlfriend gave me a pack of cigarettes because I was trying to quit smoking, and she thought it would help me relax," writes u/samohkt/. Ouch. This one just hurts. We've all been there, trying to break a habit we hate. It's already so hard without anyone actively threatening your success. If your special love is trying to quit, don't sabotage them! Be their support group, babe, not an enabler!
We recommend encouraging your special someone with a gift that will lift his spirits. Try this Geniuous Caffeine extended-release caffeine pill. With 5 stars and 3,400 reviews, it's hard to go wrong!
4: Flowers (That Trigger Her Allergies)
There are few things better than fresh flowers! They're aromatic, vibrant, and lift the entire vibe of a room from "meh" to "LOOOOOO-V-E IT!" But watch out there, bucko, because flowers also contain a lot of allergens. Gifting allergies to your beloved totally makes the list of worst Valentine's Day gifts.
First, there's the kind you think of when your boo gets seasonal allergies--the sneezing, runny nose, and puffy eyes. Nothing says "I Love You" quite like severe nasal congestion. The big culprits here are dioecious flowers, (those with male and female parts) since they produce much greater quantities of pollen. And with an estimated 25 million Americans susceptible to this type of allergy, it's best to be very sure your special someone isn't one of them before you purchase those lilies.
Similarly, the strong floral scent--magnified by being in an enclosed space--can often trigger nasty headaches. Oh, and don't forget that freshly cut flowers just aren't great for the environment either.
So ditch the pre-cut flowers and go for some outdoor ones! We recommend trying some environmentally conscious brands like Green Promise Farms. Or if you must buy cut flowers, check out the Slow Flowers registry, listing florists who grow local, seasonal, and sustainable flowers.
5: (Boring) Chocolates
Who doesn't just LOVE chocolate?! I'll tell you who, crazy people! Joking, aside, while chocolates are delicious, they are a bit cliché for Valentine's day. Why not surprise your guy or gal with something totally original? Check out this acupuncture pain relief matt, for instance. Pretty sweet and calorie-free!
6: A Pencil Sharpener (And Other Thoughtless Gifts)
"My dad bought my mom a pencil sharpener one year for Valentine’s Day. It was the only gift he ever bought her on that day,” remembers u/gfjq23. “My sister and I pestered him relentlessly saying it was weird he had never bought her a Valentine’s Day gift, so he listened for what she wanted. She had been complaining that her pencil sharpener was junk, so he went out and bought this really nice electric one.”
Yikes! That's pretty bad . . . Thoughtless gifts are just the worst. Sure he "listened" to what she said she needed, but come on, bro. . . a pencil sharpener? It doesn't take much consideration to know that's probably not going to fly.
Don't get him something thoughtless, babe! "Thoughtless" is always the worst Valentine's day gift. Instead, try something that will show you value him.
7: Gift Card for a Tanning Salon
We get it! No one wants to look ghostly pale. But with tanning beds come dangerous UVA rays that are even more harmful than regular, ol' fashioned sunshine. It's just not worth it. That's why we're naming this number 7 of worst valentine's day gifts!
I hope this list has inspired some better gift-choices (and laughs!), spurring you on to truly awesome Valentine's Day gift selections!
All the kisses + V'day high-fives,